Overcome in Walmart

Have you ever been overcome with emotion in Walmart? I realize there could be several possibilities for why I find myself crying recently in the midst of the hustle and bustle of shoppers buzzing all around me.  There were people from all walks of life moving in and out quickly.  Women and men in scrubs, business attire, workout clothes, or jeans and tees.  Most had children in toe and seemed like they were on their last nerve as they frantically passed me by with one more thing on their to do list. 

I remember those days when there never seemed to be enough hours in the day.  I remember hustling kids out the door early in the morning to get them off to school, quickly cleaning the breakfast dishes, throwing some dinner in the crockpot feeding the dog, and racing off to work.  After work would mean a quick appointment, running to the grocery store , all in time to put together dinner.  The day still would not be done, when I would have to chauffeur kids to ball practices, or school events.  I may even have been able to get a quick walk in before bed and then starting all over the next day.  Sound familiar?

We often complain about the business of our lives, but believe me, you will miss it if it suddenly changes.  I am an empty nester so slowing down does naturally occur.  But my children growing up and having families of their own is not what changed the tune of my life so drastically.  It was being struck down in my 40's with trigeminal neuralgia.  I have since learned to monitor my chores, shopping, appointments, exercise, and time with my Littles.  However, I still cannot predict what might ignite the electrifying shocks that will send me to my knees in Walmart. Even though I proceed with caution, the mindless act of turning my head to look at something can shoot fiery darts into my face. Walmart's entryway is always an issue for me with their high blast of wind that slaps me in my face from their "wind curtain", they call it. I have to remember to cover my face and duck down until I am in the store.  After my first attack from it's electrifying slap in the face, I did not shop there for quite some time. 

Today was one of those necessary days.  I tucked my head and gripped my buggy through the entry, and I moved slowly down an aisle.  I recognized the frazzled looks on mom's as they attempted to reign in their children and hush some whimpering.  I saw people with buggies overflowing with groceries for the upcoming weeks of family meals.  I looked at my short list of things I needed and wondered if my pain would let me get from one side of the store to the other or if I'd have to leave my buggy and bail like I've had to do countless times before.  Watching the busy activity around me, brought tears to my eyes. I saw myself in those shoppers shoes just a few years ago, and now I longed for the "hustle and bustle" back!  Yes, I miss having my children home and all our busy activities.  However, today, I was missing being able to just run errands in and out of stores and drive here and there without having to give it the thought of what will set my pain off today.  I miss being able to go to work and come home with a feeling of accomplishment and purpose.  I may not be on the other shoppers' tight time schedule, or have children bickering or crying for a toy, or a teen telling me they're going to be late for practice.  That would be a welcome change from having to calculate every movement, praying I can make it through the store without having to bale and go home empty handed.  That happens quite a lot.  I might simply reach for an item off the shelf or look up at directional signs and painful bolts shoot through my face, freezing me for a couple of minutes each time.  

 I know life can get hectic and everyone has Something going on.  But as you walk past the handicap parking spaces and buzz past those of us walking slowly down the aisle, I hope that you don't take those moments for granted.  I would give anything to be living that version of normal again.  I know that Everyone has something going on in their lives that is Heavy and not as perfect as it may look.  Sometimes things seem so dark we struggle to find one thing to be grateful for.  Try to remind yourself of ALL that you CAN do!  AND, remember to show grace to those around you, because you never know what they might be going through.